


nah, you'll survive

by davesturntables



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Bro - Freeform, Poor Eating Habits, Suicide Attempt, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 05:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13564014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davesturntables/pseuds/davesturntables
Summary: This has been going on for so long. What could possibly go wrong?Unexpected call to KarkatShit why are the paramedics involved





	nah, you'll survive

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S 3am AND I NEEDED TO VENT I APOLOGISE FOR ALL THE TYPING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS  
> english is not my native

You are Dave Strider, the totally cool guy who unfortunately never fucking asks for help before it's too late.

You may have fucked up. At least you kept them..natural? You always thought it'd be better to disguise them as strife scars than just draw parallel lines on your arms. So for a while you went over old strife scars, deepening them and picking at the scabs as soon as they were starting to heal. It wasn't enough. So you drew a few more lines here and there, mostly where your clothes would cover them up. 

Your Bro might not care but it's always better to be careful. It's been months and you're getting better and better, your cuts getting deeper and more dangerous. You have been close to veins and arteries on your arms and legs. You've got to know your body. You know when to stop, when it gets too deep, too much.  
But tonight.   
You miscalculated. You couldn't focus, thoughts whirring in your head, already dizzy from a few previous cuts and not having had any proper food in..how long has it been? 3 days. You think. Possibly. It couldn't be much more. It's summer, so you have no reason to keep track of time. Occasionally your friends pester you but it's just a casually boring convo or them talking about how great summer holidays are and what they've been doing in the past few weeks. You don't do much, just getting through the days. Your child self would've been amazed, time passes quicker than ever before and you never find yourself bored anymore. Your thoughts always there accompanying you. When they're not particularly loud you try to work on your totally sick raps, they're the only thing you still enjoy these days.

Everything else has lost its magic. Everything is so goddamn dull.

You get carried away a lot. Which you don't mind anymore, it passes the time, right? Your thoughts racing like that you make another cut. Suddenly, your mind is clear. Your body's sending danger signals to your brain. You failed to miss the artery. Your arm is bleeding heavily. You weren't prepared for this. You're slipping into panic mode, your head spinning and the voice inside your head screaming at you to do something! You realise you should've researched all this better, one might think that after all those months you'd know everything there is to know about the subject. But you don't. 

 

Confused and scared, you dial your sorta boyfriend. 

"Come on, pick up babe, you're not asleep yet" you mumble to yourself, your phone beeps three more times, then he answers.

"What do you need now, asshat? In case you haven't noticed it's half past 2am and some of us need our beauty sleep," both of you knew he wasn't sleeping, it was beyond your knowledge to know what took him so long to answer.

"I need your help and I need you to come over, now," this seemed to be the most deadpan your voice had ever been. Judging by his sudden gasp though he knew you weren't kidding, "12 minutes, you gonna live?"

You looked down on your arm. Maybe the damage wasn't that bad? For a moment you thought about "cancelling" but when you tried to adjust yourself, leaning on the edge of your bath, you came close to falling over, "I guess."

You could hear shuffling from the other end of the phone. He didn't say anything but he didn't put the phone away either so you just stayed there, listening to him breathe, hearing him shut the door and step out of his house. You were now growing dizzier by minute.

 

"Dave, the door," you heard from your phone in your near sleep daze.

You realized you should probably move to let him in, but your legs couldn't properly carry you. You leaned on everything, every wall and piece of furniture -probably getting blood on stuff but your mind was too tired to think about the consequences- til getting to the door, you pushed down the handle, and with a big gulp of breath, collapsed on the floor.   
You were awake, you just lost control of your limbs, at least that's what you told yourself.  
He was over you in a second. One of his hands on your back, keeping you from completely laying on the floor, the other brushing hair out of your eyes. His own black curls were falling neatly on his face. At least it looked neat though you knew his hair was one hell of a mess and you couldn't brush your hand through it. You didn't mind though, it wasn't your place to judge. 

 

He got his "cellular device" out of his pocket, probably dialling the ambulance, you wanted to protest, but you didn't have the energy to argue right now. 

"Dave, can you hear me?" you snapped out of your thoughts, somehow managing a nod.  
"How long," he coughed, his voice was shaky, "has this been..going on. Who did this to you?"

"Dear god please tell me it wasn't the cocksniffer you call your brother," he looked around in your mostly dark apartment, enough light was shining though the slightly ajar bathroom door, so you knew he was seeing it all, especially now that both of tour eyes were getting completely used to the dark.

"It was, wasn't it," he continued when you didn't answer, you considered letting him think that but then again this was worse than your Bro has ever done to you and even though you didn't have the best kind of relationship with the guy you didn't think letting Karkat blame him for everything would be slightly wrong.

"My fault, I did it.." so you did have some control over your body, or at least some parts of it.  
He looked horrified, probably not ready for the kind of answer. You knew that you two would have a long talk ahead of you if you survived this. If you did.

He was now trying to whisper good stuff to you, bringing up old memories and telling you all sorts of secrets, like he was afraid this would be the last and only chance. Damn, now he was making you motivated to live through it just to prove him that you were no quitter. He probably wouldn't agree if you told him now. Fuck, you're really pathetic.

Why do the paramedics take so long? The immense!!!!!!! amount of pressure Karkat was putting on your arm had made it completely numb. Finally, after 17 and a half minutes, the ambulance arrived. Another knock on the door. Some questions being asked, but not from you directly. Karkat seemed to be explaining it well enough so you didn't need to try to join the oh so cheerful convo. You fell asleep.


End file.
